9.15 Hours !!!

Another hectic hectic day in office… you must be wondering that I am a very dedicated, hard worker who religiously devote 15-16 hr each day towards my work. Looking at my past record even I expected myself to be one of those workaholics for whom work is worship. But as you know life is full of surprises and it was a pleasant surprise for many including me to see myself this detached from all this work and pressure which it brings along. By this I don’t mean that I am some kind of a lazy slacker. No not at all, even today I still find it impossible to just leave my work for tomorrow & more often than not, I complete my work well within the stipulated time which according to company standards is 9.15 but for me it never exceeds more than a few hours. So naturally I find it mighty hard to sit there in front on that 15” screen and stare at it all day long. Now what is the difference between old me and this new avatar, well today I don’t take much tension or any sort of work related undue pressure which I used to. What’s the reason for this change in me… well I don’t know but my best guess is that I don’t feel much connected to the work I am doing. That feeling of my work, my responsibility is just not there. I do it coz it has been assigned to me and I am expected to do it. But to do it with full earnestness and total commitment, it’s just not there.

In the first sentence when I wrote hectic hectic day, what did I mean by that? Did I really slogged for the entire day, I mean 9.15 hrs and returned home like a broken tree about to fall and the only thing which could have brought a smile on my face was my bed? Well yes for the second part and a strong no for the first. Yes I was terribly tired and it really was an effort trying to keep my eyes open but I am not telling you about my situation or condition in the evening but it was like that all throughout the day. Now I guess you know why it was a strong no for the first half of that sentence. My day was hectic not because I had loads to do but it was such because I had nothing much to do. But still as the law states," sit there to complete your working hours." Really I want to meet that great soul who introduced this beautiful and most thought out amazing concept of working hours. I don’t understand which is more important, completion of work or completion of working hours? If work is there then seriously I won’t mind sitting there for even 12 hours, but when I have completed my day’s job and nothing is left for me in the office other than wasting time, then please let me go home… it really makes no sense to just sit there, chat with someone or in my case do this blogging and all. Sitting idle even puts my brain in sleep mode and once it enters that state only a good night sleep can revive it. So what does that means…it means that even after returning home I am inept for anything. All in all complete waste of entire day. So today also was one of those hectic days. Though I was kind of dopey from the morning only but office environment and all this made things even worse. Literally I was swinging in my chair all day long and it was a great effort on my part to go through the entire day without falling from my chair.

So now hectic has a new definition in my thesaurus and laziness is fast becoming my new girlfriend. But ambition which is turning in to a fierce enemy is challenging me to get up and show my mettle which I am pretty sure I will one day but as of now I have just one line for my enemy – “Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.”

Cheers

RJ